The mood in my office is one of stale air, restlessness and waiting for the dreaded phonecall to come. We knew that some of us, one of us, maybe myself is going to get the handshake.

I am looking at the retrenchment exercise that is going to happen in my company in a few days time. At it is during these times that you see a different side of my colleagues.

When we first heard of this R thingy, we were still able to jokingly talk about it and even gossiping about who is going to get the cut. As the date draws near, the jovial atmosphere is gone, replaced by stress and the feeling of lost.

There are these few people who knew that either they are surplus to the current company requirements, too expensive to keep or just simply didn’t click with the boss and thus get this feeling or hunch that they will be chopped. Some resigned to their fate even before the announcement is made, start to hand over their stuffs with tears welling in eyes.

There are also these few who knew that even though they maybe surplus, expensive to keep but simply because they are favored by the boss and thus knew that they are very safe from the storm. They can be recognized by the way they walk and talk. Just fuckers.

While i have nothing against the confidents and important personnels in the office, i do not like the way they carried themselves during this period. For instance, while i am pretty sure that my boss will have a hard time should i go, i try not to talk about my confidence. It will only make those vulnerable feel the impending doom and feel worse. I knew the person sitting beside me is very worried, because there is this fucker who knew that being the bloody boss’s favourite bj, always come and talk to my neighbour about chances of getting chopped. It only made to worsen the already tense mood. My other neighbour, while being confident of her position, also tried to engage the stressed neighbour into her potential payout should the cut comes. I don’t see any meaning in doing so, there is no point in discussing these when you know how the person is feeling. Extremely insensitive i will say.

The bunch of colleagues that i always hang around also show signs of stress and to some degree, wanting to hang out more before chances are gone. I can see who really enjoyed the company, who are sincere in hanging out and being friends.

It is during these stressed times when you really can get to see the true side of a person. While i am happy to know my friends better, its more often the ugly side of my colleagues that i see, and its not a pretty sight. Even more so when i know that i have to continue to work with them.